So. In case you're thinking about calling someone to help you with computer stuff (your friend, your kid, your colleague...) - please read this first:
- Stay calm.
- If you're being asked questions: stay calm!
- If you don't understand the questions: stay calm - and friendy.
- The person on the other side of the phone is trying to help you - she/he is not your enemy!
- ...and not trying to humiliate or test you. Just trying to help.
- You called them - not the other way around. Don't let your frustration or anger out on them
- The person on the other side of the phone can *not* see what you are seeing!
- Be as precise as possible. Don't use phrases like "there's this thingie...", "I clicked that button there", "something is weird...", etc.
- Again: I cannot see your screen. You have to tell me in detail what you're doing, what you see, where you're clicking, what you're typing, etc.
- There will be words you don't understand - don't worry, we know that. We'll find vocabulary we can use, but that differs from person to person - so there will be questions until we get there. Don't lose your nerves. Stay calm! (and friendly)
- Never ever (!!) abort the phone call, saying something like: "Ok, that does it! I don't understand you! You're not helping! I just wanted it to work again, and now you're interrogating me with things I don't understand! Why do you have to make things so complicated?"
It's impossible to give any helpful reply to that. It's necessary to understand your situation - so you'll be asked questions.Hey, here's this thing and it doesn't... but if... oooh! now it does it again! I'll just... and then... oh my god! What just happened? I... there's... how...? Oh, oh! I think I can fix it myself... hang on a second, I'll just click here... and then... eeeeek! What should I do now?
Don't reply like that:
In fact, you didn't transfer any valuable information, so take a deep breath again (the person on the other side of the phone is also doing that), stay calm, and listen to the questions you're getting - and try to answer them as good as possible.Yeah, I told you that it doesn't...! And I don't understand what you're talking about, because I hate computers! I told you that I clicked on the colored thingie, and then it popped up some message I didn't read, so I tried it again and it still doesn't work! Why is it so difficult for you to understand? I told you everything!
Just raising your voice and repeating the word "THEEEERE!" while annoyingly pointing at your screen, does *not* make things any better.
It might take a few question/answer-iterations before we can provide step-by-step instructions, so take your time. We're also taking ours.
Oh, and did I mention:
Stay friendly!